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There's only one thing proven to stop one of Uncle Ted's patented gasp-inducing political rants: stuffing him full of food. So stop him before he starts with a giant bowl of popcorn! No one can turn down popcorn, and no one can talk with a mouth full of popcorn either. It's the perfect plan.
What better snack to munch on in December 2012 than one invented by the Mayans? Pop up a batch, coat it richly in your seasoning of choice, and sit back to enjoy the impending Apocalypse. Eat it like there's no tomorrow, because according to the inventors of popcorn, there probably isn't. And even if the world doesn't end, popcorn won't fatten you up too bad.