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What better way to wash away the sticky holiday shame than a good soak with a sea salt scrub? It'll seep into cracks and crevices you never knew you had. But it's totally cool, because they smell so good. Go ahead. Take a whiff. We won't judge.
The last time I went to a spa, my masseuse just kept talking and talking and then started telling me about how she was into witchcraft and how she and her friends did some animal sacrifices in the woods and by that point I really didn't feel comfortable telling her to just "shut up and rub." At least at my house, I know who I'm dealing with.